Friday, April 30, 2010

The magic number...

6 is the magic number for today kids....



It's only been 4 DAYS of DIETING!

Oh. Yea. Envy Me! ;)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

ABC... Easy as 123!

It's my morning off, the noisy middle school kids have woken me up so I decided that since they are off learning away that I shoulb be working on my ABC's, too!
Oh, god.
How cheesy am I?
I'm so sorry. Please feel free to stop reading now.

I saw this on someones blog (forgive me for forgetting whos) and thought it was fun. So, I decided to be a copycat. I did change a few of the categories but most of the question part is directly from her.

A. Addiction: Your love is my drug. LOL Just kidding, I'm really lame today right?
Real Answer: Home Depot. It is my crack.

B. Bed size: Queen. Yep, hubs and I sleep in a queen sized bed and HATE every moment on it! We are in desperate need to upgrade but I am in LURVVV with my bedroom set and can't even think to part with my headboard / footboard combo in all her glory!

C. Chore I hate: Laundry. I am never EVER caught up. My downstairs is Mt. Etna and I HATE.

D. Dog or Cat?: Dogs. I love my dog. I will admit to you, there are times that I like my Louie more than I like the humans I live with.

E. Essential part of my day: Primping Time. I absolutely have to get my glamour time in or I turn in to a giant biatch. According to my family I have horns that show if I skip.

F. Favorite Animal: Right now, Dogs. Specifically named Louie.

G. Gold or Silver: Both. But, more gold than silver.

H. Height: 5'4" (Go ahead. You can make short jokes.)

I. Instrument I wish I could play: The piano. When I was a kid I really wanted to learn to play the piano. I still think it would be a fun instrument to learn but when I took lessons years ago they told me I had to cut my nails! CUT MY NAILS! Yea. We're done.

J. Job: I'm a hell of a wife, between cooking and cleaning and errand running you'd think I was being paid but no... I do work as a financial manager for an apartment complex. It has its good and bad days but overall I enjoy it!

K. Kids: Just the one I'm married to.

L. Living Arrangements: We own the cutest home ever! I love remodeling it and turning it into my dream house!

M. Mom's Name: Debbie

N. Nickname: I've never really had one.. everyone has their own little "nicknames" for me.

O. Overnight Hospital Stay: When I was REALLY little I was in the hospital for something, strep or something silly but that's about it! :)

P. Pet Peeve: Dumb people. Pretty self-explanatory!

Q. Quote from a movie: So many! Let's do top 3! :)

“They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” Anchorman

“Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day and look at it and say ‘this is not my life’”. Mrs. Doubtfire

Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You're just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality.
Little Miss Sunshine.


S. SIBLINGS: A brother and a sister. I adore both! :)

T. TV Shows: Parenthood. The Office. 30 Rock. Parks and Rec. Tough Love Couples! SO MANY! I'm kinda a couch potato!

U. Underwear: Hmmm.... maybe we just shouldn't go there!

V. Vacation I am dreaming of: A white sandy beach on a small private island. How about Little Kasey Island?

W. Why I am always late: Actually, I am rarely late when I need to get somewhere on my own. Now, when hubs and I need to go somewhere, we are usually tardy. And, it is generally all my fault. Can't explain why.

X. Xanax: You know, sometimes, it is what is going to get me through the day.... what can I say?

Y. Yummiest food: As I am currently on a diet, EVERYTHING SOUNDS AMAZING!!!!

Z. Zodiac sign: Virgo

Enough about me already! How about your ABC's?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Please Don't Leave Me!

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
da da da da-da

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is....broken

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da
da da da da-da da
Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no

You say I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back,
It's gonna come right back to this.

Please, don't leave me.
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Marriage: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.. especially if you recorded him snoring.

Michael and I have always struggled somewhat <--- lie. A lot with our relationship.

Two fools.

Two fools who were scarred terribly by childhood circumstances and family issues that created the two adults we are today. <--- another lie There were no "issues" that made us fools... we just pretty much are that way

Adults that have butted heads for going on 8 years.

Butted heads not only with each other but with our own selves.

I'm testament that you get tired of doing that ... at some point.

And you give it up .

You surrender.

This year has been the happiest year of my life with Michael thus far.

I know.

That's a hard statement to throw out there huh?

But I'm all about honesty.

Relationships freaking suck sometimes.

There are days I want to "cut him." Go gangstah on his ass and smile as I see him suffer. Now THAT'S love in it's purest form huh? I imagine putting a horsehead on his pillow... and smile because it just freaking makes me FEEL better after he has made some stupid ass move.

But then those days often twiddle out pretty quickly and we move onward without looking back. No grudges these days?.. WTF? Where have all the grudges gone?

Nothing seems to last these days like it used to. I'm able to release the inner thoughts of murder , fairly easy.

Does this come with time?

Does it come with maturity? <--- who are YOU calling mature??

Does that simply come on the side of just plain loving them and their many faults? <-----perhaps

The one person who will go to the ends of the Earth for m.e.. for my happiness.. for my family.


What more could I ask for people?

What more?

* the trash emptied before it becomes a garbage waterfall

* whiskers wiped out of the sink before they LAND ON MY MAKEUP BRUSHES

* laundry noticed and done ...THAT MOUNTAIN? Isn't Mt. etna. It's our clothes, you butt.

* cook a dinner once in a freakin blue moon - it's not that hard.

* pick up the damn dogshit before it molds over

What list? Where? I don't know what you're speaking of?

So it's official. I have surrendered. I just gave in and my life is happier for it. Our relationship is happier. MT. Etna is still MT. Etna .. the dogshit moldy, my blush brush hairy , the garbage a natural waterfall and dinner- all on me.

But in the end... I'm ok with that.

I'm happy.

I would not dare to wish to change even the slightest about the hubs.. without first understanding how it might change the rest of him...

And I don't want him to change a hair on that cute slightly balding head

BESIDES, when the big picture is rocking my world why would I make a huge fuss over a few spolts?!

Oh. Yea. Spolts is now a word. Literally, as in now now.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Howdy Neighbors!

The house right across from ours is for sale..
Like to the side of it....
Refer to the diagram for petes sake!!

Well a couple of days ago the current owners mentioned to me something about people putting an offer on the house.... coming by to check out the neighboorhood...blah blah blah..... our new prospective neighbors have literally JUST pulled up to inspect the potential of this house and are on their way to joining this jolly neighborhood.

In turn: I am hiding out from them.... you know.. in case they want eggs or something. A screwdriver or nuts or bolts.

Listen up new neighbahs:You WON'T find ANY of that stuff here.

SO move along.

And if for some reason you DO find those things.. it's somewhere it's NOT SUPPOSED to be be.. like my husband's underwear drawer or the dog crate.

And YOU my friend shouldn't be snooping around my husbands skivvielou drawer-ANYWAYS.

Also it's none of your beeswax WHY I have eggs in my dog crate.

*I WANT THIS CRATE! SOOO BAD! Oh and the dog too! :)

Signed your new neighbor, whom you MET yesterday.

IF they insist upon borrowing EGGS and or nuts n bolts....

Begin ringing my doorbell to no avail and then subsequently decide to peer into my living room window when no one answers their dings besides a small barking dog...


I shall hold my breath and not move.

I am stone.

I cannot break.

Maybe they'll mistake my house for a wax museum.

Perhaps I'll hold a quizzical look on my mug to really make it convincing.

*I look just like that!

The other inhabitants around here though.. not so sure they can pull off the wax museum look.. should the situation arise.

Might need to re-think strategy.

I take that back... Hubs won't be a problem; provided there is a football / basketball / golf / wrestling / any other sports game on the tevelision. Half the time I stare at him for several intense seconds to see.. if he's BREATHING.

He'll pass the wax museum test.

Still thinking.

Discuss while I ponder my hypothetical.

So anyways.

I'm hiding out.

From my new neighbors.

I did however end up MEETING them, as I mentioned.

An introduction ONLY Kasey could pull off.

Let's backtrack here.

The house next door has been inhabited for our entire ownership period by people that lets just say..... aren't the most present... let's just say they have a few too many lion statues and shirtless chubby man moments to judge me!

I've gotten comfy with the fact that NOT a soul can keep tabs on what I'm doing back there, as in my backyard.

Unless you count the neighbors on the OTHER SIDE of me.. but we've already broken them in.. so they don't count.

I often parade around in my wife beater yellling at my little doggy to 'STAY IN THE DRIVEWAY', ' LEAVE THE PLANTS ALONE" " For PETE'S SAKE would you PUHLEASE stop barking at the catbirdsuninchwormkidspassingbycarsinthebackground." or 'DO NO pee on that!"With no audience.

So I bought this white trash outdoor inflatable chair the other day.

*don't tell the husband.

*also I know it is ugly, I know it is white trash, It looked comfy! Back your critical self off!!

*the hair blowing in the wind is what really sold me

BloField Collection Chair.

Save your blood pressure and Don't buy one.

AND especially dont' buy one Online.

It is like making pigs fly to return it!

EVEN IF IT Freaking LEAKS the second you put air into it.

I digress.

So I spent all day hassling with this mo fo.. only to find out that the top ring deflates over a series of hours.

Not cool Blofield, NOT COOL.

So anyways.

I misread , as I misread all that exists, the claim instructions and proceed to flail about my little mindless world thinking that they are going to be sending me a refund just by speaking to someone on the phone and JUST by filling out a claim.

So BEFORE I can get a refund I eventually find out that I must CUT THE CHAIR UP and send certain portions back to the manufacturer... like some serial chair killer.

I stomped my little heart out on it and now plan to let the dog have his way with it.

Yes.. the air- leaking one.

I have a plan though. I plan to use my blow skillz and my hot air .. .to stand on the side of the effer and just BLOW while visitors relax their day away in our new white trash, now leaking chair.
In the meantime, I ... continue to run out there.. .every couple hours or so.. and BLOW so as not to LOSE the oh so coveted inflatable furniture residing in my backyard.

But alas, yesterday morning.. when I went out to take up my post and BLOW... a few things I neglected.
1. I neglected to DRESS MYSELF. Not unusual. I was flitting about like some ninny in a stained, streched out, past my feet, gramma type of pajama pants.. that are TOO big.. and falls off.
2. I was wearing NO BRA and see through-ish... dirty, black tank.

3. I was barefoot.
4. I went to bed with my hair wet. Just imagine. I have wavy rebellious hair.
5. I began looking for the source of the leak, EAR TO THE GROUND.. circling the chair.

I stop.

...causing my pajamas to FALL DOWN AND BARE MY butt AND IT'S HIDEOUS glory!


In pull our new freaking neighbors.

Oh yeah.

Good job keeping tabs on that Kasey.


I'll send my casserole when I'm done blowing.:)

Evah embarrassed yourself royally?

I'm awesome!

I was on the radio today.

OH Yea.

I'm awesome.

Just throwin that out there.

The End.

P.S- This is the WORLDS best commercial!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dear Diary : My ass is an end table.

Dear Diary,

I was looking in the mirror as I passed my reflection this afternoon and I was AGHAST.

Almost as aghast as when the hubs takes baths. <-- not right.

Just ..



When did my ass become a shelf?

When did this happen?

While I was eating Little Debbie's and watching T.V in bed?

No. That's a TOTAL OUTRIGHT lie I just told.

I don't allow food in the bedroom....

Back to my ass.

I could put coasters, a vase and some cokes on it.


ya'll MY ASS .. is an end table!!!
* mouth agape*

It's a cruel cruel world when you have end table ass.

And the day you REALIZE you have end table ass is even crueler.

There's no bathing suit , suited and cut and stretched for END TABLE ASS.
No miracle suit for that shit.

True dat'.

Attacked by an effin shopping cart

I was brutally and maliciously attacked last evening and I am reporting it HERE on this blog before I take my story public to all of the land.

I stopped at the walmart, our local overpriced grocery store, that reels me in easily everytime, to grab some items after work last night, per the hubs request. Isn't it sweet of him to get off 2 hours before I do and call for ME to go get things? Yah.

As any good citizen, should, I returned my shopping cart to it's rightful corral about 10 car slots up from my vehicle.

Doesn't look as evil here does it? Lies....
Ran up there in my evil high heels, which after a day of showing 3rd floor apartments had turned two once decent feet into a knub of bones and brusies.......

Gave the cart a BIG ASS SHOVE ..

Saw the effer head into the corral all by it's lonesome.

Promptly headed back to my vehicle.

(The vehicle, by the way, is a very cute, sporty, orange car that for the last month I have been attempting to keep in pristine condition so we can get it sold!)
Got back in.
Put the car in reverse.

Looked ahead actually, oddly.. into the window of the vehicle parked in front of me.
There was actually a driver in the car. I smiled politley cause I'm a friendly sorts and thought nothing of her oddly wide eyes.

Turned my head, began a slow backup for takeoff... and off to my right out of the back side window.. when what to my wandering eyes do appear?
Headed DIRECTly TOWARDS my vehicle, that is again being kept perfect for sale time.

On a slow and meticulous track toward my rear side panel.

Like some stripped down version of Carrie- the killer car that gave me nightmares at age 12.

*note- I never SAW the movie but I've seen clips! I've seen clips and I was horrified!
That devil shopping cart.

Slow mo we go....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. screams Kasey from the confines of her vehicle.. frozen .. unable to move due to her inability to think through situations of emergency kinds....
Says the shopping cart from the depths of hell, reaching a maxium speed of 8 miles per hour... " YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

Nothing I could do.

Old Wide eyes ( person in vehicle in front of me) connected with me for a moment before I winced and got out of my car.

I know sign language for pete's sake.
At least the alphabet.

Maybe written as sign in lipstick ON YOUR WINDOW???



So.. I get out.
Run around to check the damage.. annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.... as always... there's more.
THAT DAMN CARRIE CART... bounced off of my car and was headed.. WHERE YOU ASK????



"Hey.. MORON... you know that cart you didnt' tell me about.. the one that hit my "pristine" car? Yeah that one.. WELL it's headed for your headlights. "
And I got in my car and left.