Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Attacked by an effin shopping cart

I was brutally and maliciously attacked last evening and I am reporting it HERE on this blog before I take my story public to all of the land.


I stopped at the walmart, our local overpriced grocery store, that reels me in easily everytime, to grab some items after work last night, per the hubs request. Isn't it sweet of him to get off 2 hours before I do and call for ME to go get things? Yah.





As any good citizen, should, I returned my shopping cart to it's rightful corral about 10 car slots up from my vehicle.

Doesn't look as evil here does it? Lies....
Ran up there in my evil high heels, which after a day of showing 3rd floor apartments had turned two once decent feet into a knub of bones and brusies.......



Gave the cart a BIG ASS SHOVE ..

Saw the effer head into the corral all by it's lonesome.

Promptly headed back to my vehicle.


(The vehicle, by the way, is a very cute, sporty, orange car that for the last month I have been attempting to keep in pristine condition so we can get it sold!)
Got back in.
Put the car in reverse.

Looked ahead actually, oddly.. into the window of the vehicle parked in front of me.
There was actually a driver in the car. I smiled politley cause I'm a friendly sorts and thought nothing of her oddly wide eyes.


Turned my head, began a slow backup for takeoff... and off to my right out of the back side window.. when what to my wandering eyes do appear?
Headed DIRECTly TOWARDS my vehicle, that is again being kept perfect for sale time.

On a slow and meticulous track toward my rear side panel.


Like some stripped down version of Carrie- the killer car that gave me nightmares at age 12.


*note- I never SAW the movie but I've seen clips! I've seen clips and I was horrified!
That devil shopping cart.

Slow mo we go....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. screams Kasey from the confines of her vehicle.. frozen .. unable to move due to her inability to think through situations of emergency kinds....
Says the shopping cart from the depths of hell, reaching a maxium speed of 8 miles per hour... " YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."


Nothing I could do.


Old Wide eyes ( person in vehicle in front of me) connected with me for a moment before I winced and got out of my car.
THANKS FOR THE WARNING!
COULDN'T YOU HAVE signed TO ME THAT IS WAS COMING?



I know sign language for pete's sake.
At least the alphabet.

Maybe written as sign in lipstick ON YOUR WINDOW???



Sent off a CARRIER pigeon to bring me A NOTE TELLING ME THAT THE CART WAS HEADED DIRECTLY FOR MY CAR?????





UGHHH.

So.. I get out.
Run around to check the damage.. annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.... as always... there's more.
THAT DAMN CARRIE CART... bounced off of my car and was headed.. WHERE YOU ASK????


DIRECTLY TOWARDS WIDE EYES VEHICLE.


So I signed to her.. IN MY BEST SIGN LANGUAGE SKILLS.

"Hey.. MORON... you know that cart you didnt' tell me about.. the one that hit my "pristine" car? Yeah that one.. WELL it's headed for your headlights. "
And I got in my car and left.

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